Thursday Night TV, Plus Leftovers

A full night of Thursday television (NBC comedies plus Smallville for me), plus catching up on Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Jericho's season finale, all after the jump...

My Name is Earl: Being on the lam in Mexico didn't work out as well for Joy as they made it seem on the Dukes of Hazzard, so she's in jail and needs character witnesses. After a very unsuccessful attempt to find some, Ruby (Marlee Matlin reprising her role as Joy's lawyer) suggests Earl.


Part three of Earl's plan to grow up is to get a real place to live, so he moves out of the hotel, but feels unsatisfied. He decides that the problem is that he's ready for a relationship, and after meeting Ruby, he's pretty sure he knows who it'll be with. Everything goes great, until she starts reading the list and discovers that Randy and Earl once robbed her.

Earl's turn as a character witness was going perfectly until the prosecutor played a series of 911 calls Earl had made when he was married, cataloging the horrible things Joy'd done. When he saw the jury making up their minds, he decided to confess, figuring that she has kids and a husband, while he doesn't have three strikes. Earl gets sentenced to 2 years in the state pen, where he'll share a cell with Ralph (Giovanni Ribisi).

Really funny episode and a great story. Between this and last week's great episode, Earl's really ended the season on a high note. Best parts:

• "When I go looking for an ice machine, I should put on pants. Oh, and there's no ice machine."
• "I didn't really need to ask cause his hair is like a mood ring."
• "When I point to you, tickle Uncle Randy until he screams a '1' tone."
• Last time she was here she drank too much cherry wine and had a threesome with my parents."
• "You don't think Jesus would want a piece of this?"
• "He's been sneezing them out for the last hour. They melt in your mouth, but not in your nose."
• "Damnit, how am I supposed to keep my legs smooth? And cut bitches?"

The Office: Beach day! Do offices really have beach days? Michael is interviewing for a job at corporate, and has to show up with a recommendation for who'll replace him. So beach day turns into a series of ridiculous competitions to win the position of future manager. It naturally doesn't prove anything, but a walk over hot coals finally inspires Pam to stand up for herself, wondering why no one showed at her art show, telling Jim how she feels. Funniest parts:

• "About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."
• The despair on Toby's face when he finds that he'll be missing Pam in a two piece (which they teased us with but never showed... bastards).
• "Yes! Funtivities! I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach!"
• "One day... 14 strangers, who work together... but only one survivor."
• "There is nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach filled with sun, surf, and diligent note taking."
• "Sabotage -- the ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team."
• Dwight's edited version of The Aristocrats (the easily offended shouldn't follow that link)

Scrubs: Elliot wants to have her wedding in two months, despite the fact that Keith doesn't want to rush things that much. Dr. Cox doesn't want to go, and while she tries to convince him, he points out that Keith and J.D. were basically the only single straight men at the hospital who were the least bit desirable, so she might just be settling.


J.D., Turk, and Kelso are at a conference. Kelso's looking forward to hookers and booze, so he leaves the actual work for Vanilla Bear and Chocolate Bear. J.D.'s mostly along to forget about Elliot, and nothing seems to help until Kim (Elizabeth Banks) shows up as a lecturer at a conference. Last we saw her, she was lying to J.D. about miscarrying their baby, and her giant belly makes it difficult to keep that particular lie going. J.D. freaks out and can't really decide what to do.

At this point, there was an amber alert in my area, so I have absolutely no idea what happened for what seemed like the two most important minutes of plot, but J.D. apparently ran away, and Kim followed him back to ask what happened just as Elliot asks him if she's making a mistake by marrying Keith. They're really bringing the season's plotlines to a climax nicely, but (at least the parts I saw) weren't all that funny. The best parts:

• Old M.C., bust a move, indeed!
• "And you, Nurse Ipanema..."
• Air-groping?
• Janitor, chief of medicine.

Smallville: Helo from Battlestar Galactica guest stars in a terrible, terrible role. A guy who's been brainwashed but tries to fight it off when he meets a close friend? Olivier couldn't save that role from being ridiculous. All you can really do is act like you're having a seizure and speak in sentence fragments.

Some interesting developments came out of the episode, though. Martha is going to be a U.S. Senator, Lois is determined to ruin Lex, and Lois is closer than ever to betraying Lex and driving him to supervillainy (or at least I hope so).

Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Fun cameos this week. Peter Bogdanovich plays a Hugh Hefner-type character for the second time, Kristy Swanson plays a fake Anna Nicole Smith, and in one of the best casting jobs ever, David Cross as the Howard K. Stern guy. It was pretty dull, though I really enjoyed all of David Cross's scenes.

Jericho: They finally put the tank to good use, which is good. Johnston dies, which is very bad. Johnston, Jake, Heather, and Hawkins are really the only characters I care about, and they just killed one off after kinda killing one off earlier. It was great to see Heather back, but she's listed as a special guest star.


The season ends on a rather annoying cliffhanger, with the military on the way, some kinda crazy 35-ish star flag, a train and a bunch of troops heading Jericho's way, but no word on the season's most gripping plot: Dale's acquisition of assets in an effort to become a 16 year old post-apocalyptic real estate tycoon!

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Thursday Night TV

Didn't catch Smallville, cause I was watching NBC comedies. And I'm idiotically off to a midnight Spider-man 3 screening after this, so I'll be half dead all day at work tomorrow. And the movie probably won't be as good as Earl, Scrubs and The Office, which we'll get into after the jump.

My Name is Earl: I didn't pick up a smell-o-vision thing, so all the numbers on the screen were quite distracting. Earl picks up with his three part plan to become an adult. After getting his G.E.D. last week, it's off to work loading and unloading trucks at an appliance store. He gets the hang of it quick enough that he's wondering how he could spend his life doing something so easy, so he sets his mind to becoming a salesman. He makes it, but in the process the dock workers hate him for trying to be like one of the "junior college intellectuals" out front, and the guys out front hate him for being a docker.


I feel dense for not noticing that all the famous guest stars (Chelcie Ross, Charles S. Dutton, Sean Astin) were all in Rudy, but that worked out great, cause when Dutton came along to give the "Six-foot-something, a hundred and something" speech, it was both uplifting and hilarious.

The other plot was Joy finding out she really might be going to prison after all, so she gets everything ready for her to be gone, but instead of prepping for prison, she was preparing to flee to Mexico. I'm guessing that's where she'll be for Jaime Pressly's maternity leave. They really spent most of the effort on the smell-o-vision and the Rudy parody (which was excellent), so the random jokes didn't get as much attention. The only one that really stuck out was Randy saying "Someone said Wednesday is hump day. I don't see any ladies around, so I'll watch your back and you watch mine." But the parody was well done enough, making the joking reference but in a loving way, that this was a really great episode.

The Office: Beware the full disagiliation! Which sounds like it has something to do with the guy who flashed Phyllis, but it's something else entirely. Dwight's determined to catch the pervert, and comes up with a photo lineup of penises, including his own. He also tries to require the women to dress extremely conservatively and not wear makeup. Oh, and the number on the flyer is 800-984-3672, and the message is kinda funny (though it was tough for me to get through).

Michael's reaction is one of the more assholish things he's ever done, actually, laughing at the idea that he'd flash her instead of Pam or Karen. But at least he recognized that he crossed a line, and decides to make up for it by having women's appreciations day. Which quickly turns into an awkward field trip the mall.

Apparently his relationship with Jan is also completely messed up sexually, and she pays him to do crazy stuff. Pam and Karen, who'd been bonding a lot lately, disagree on what he should do. But he decides to break up with her, then changes his mind, then accidentally does it anyway. Best parts:

• "Phallus?" "Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain."
• "He would not have wanted me to see Jim's... wow I am saying a lot of things"
• "Sleeves down to the wrists, button up collars, muted colors... nobody dresses like this."
• "I am the expert, I will conduct it, I know the crap out of women."
• "I wouldn't want to be in an office relationship anyway."

Scrubs: Elliot says yes, and Keri Russell is still around, looking great, which is nice. J.D.'s happy for her, but everyone is expecting him to take it hard and he doesn't understand why.


Everyone's fantasizing about what it would be like to be married to Elliot. Dr. Cox kills her, Janitor's was his usual insanity, in Turk's he cheats on Elliot with his Latina maid (Carla, I'm not usually a fan, but she was looking fantastic in this fantasy), Kelso's is just like his current marriage, Carla's fantasy involves making out with Elliot, which is awesome.

Turns out Keri Russell's the last single girl from her college sorority, so J.D.'s trying to take advantage of her potential newfound desperation. He keeps breaking the macking rules though, so she shoots him down. When she finally asks why he's working so hard to get her in bed, he realizes it's because he really is upset about Elliot getting engaged. And his fantasy about married life with Elliot was just being happy. I guess we were about due for that to come back. Best parts:

• "You ordered some Dorian?" "What?" "Oh, that's my last name."
• J.D.'s trip to a weird mermaid Narnia with goat-Turk.
• Whoa, you can't go to boobtown. That, my friend, is a gated community.

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Thursday Night TV

Thursday night has plenty of good TV, and with sweeps upon us, the schedule for the month is loaded with new episodes. Earl, Scrubs, The Office, 30 Rock, and Smallville after the jump.

My Name is Earl: Earl puts himself on his list since he never let himself grow up, so he starts by trying to get his G.E.D. It proves a little too difficult, so he goes back to his old high school for help, but his old teachers are all burnt out cause since Earl they've had an endless parade of kids who are no good. To make it up, he takes over as a substitute covering in-school suspension.

He tries to show them his life as an example of what happens when you goof off in school, but kids today got no respect. So Earl convinces the teachers to fight fire with fire, and they pull a series of pranks on their students. Everything works out great until a car rigged with an innocent prank ends up exploding. But after freaking out, it turns out that was exactly what the kids needed to fall in line. The teachers get back to teaching, and Earl gets his G.E.D. A funny episode, especially the exploding car, but accidental car bombs as the solution to your problems seems like a very odd message to send. Some especially funny parts:

• "In Armando's class there are six women for every man. Nice."
• A nice callback to Mallrats with Randy's sailboat picture.
• "You better hope that To Catch a Predator guy doesn't come in here and see you with all these kids."
• "And Summer, always remember, just because you have a stripper name doesn't mean you have to grow up to be a stripper."

The Office: Crisis mode, as Dunder Mifflin accidentally sends out a bunch of paper with an obscene watermark. Creed is the Quality Assurance guy, and in an effort to avoid blame pulls some evil genius moves. He gets someone fired for his incompetence, then takes up a collection for her and pockets it. I love that guy.


Jim and Andy go to a high school to apologize for the paper, and discover that Andy's girlfriend is a high school student. But that was a one-note story, because aside from that, there was no point and not much humor.

Michael decides to hold a press conference to apologize, presumably without consulting with upper management, to get ahead of the scandal that probably would not have been a scandal of note. And he brings a client to the press conference who won't accept his apology, so it turns out to be an even bigger disaster than I'd have thought. So he records some kind of crazy apology video that sounds like a manifesto and/or threat, and I guess intends to put it on YouTube? Will they continue this story at all, or just leave it? Weird episode, but it had some really good parts:

• "The image of a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I've never been a fan."
• "Every week I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot check of the paper mill. And of course the year I blow it off, this happens."
• "Lord, beer me strength."

30 Rock: Season finale already? What a pisser. But what a great episode. Completely insane, but great.

Tracy's still in hiding under the assumed name Gordon Tremeshko (I think?), and only Kenneth knows that he's in Needmore, Pennsylvania, with Kenneth's cousin (played by Sean Hayes in the first role I didn't hate him in) taking care of him. Then going all Misery on him. Kenneth not only rescues him, but throws himself down the stairs to an ambulance will rush them through traffic to get to the show on time.


Jack's love of his job and crazy mother remind him that he doesn't love Phoebe. And gives him a heart attack. And Lemon's love of hers puts the kibosh on the Floydster. Which sucks for him because Tina Fey was looking especially hot tonight. Glasses, business suit, and a hint of cleavage really works for her. And speaking of hot, Cerie makes her first appearance in a while.

Just some of the many, many good parts:

• "My techniques guarantee male orgasm."
• "The most important thing is that she makes Jack very happy. She's like a white Geisha."
• "Carrying plastic bags, sitting on benches, brushing my own teeth. This is unsuitable!"
• "I was at a costume party earlier this evening. And the hostess's dog attacked me, so I had to stab it."
• "And all the time I've been on this earth, I have only one regret: I should've worked more."
• "They've got pretzels downstairs!"
• "If I die will you take care of my birds?" "I got a lot on my plate right now, Ken."

Scrubs: Turk and Dr. Cox fight over who'll treat hypochondriac Lloyd the deliveryman, making up fake diagnoses for his arm pain to make him each other's responsibility. Just as Perry thinks he's won, Turk ups the ante by actually operating. Take that? I have no idea how Perry didn't see that it was all a prank. Turk's prone to doing some stupid stuff, but he's still a good doctor.


I never thought Keri Russell was all that attractive on Felicity but with straighter hair she's gorgeous. She plays Elliot's old friend who J.D. naturally has a thing for. J.D., despite always being a huge jerk to Elliot, is upset that she makes time for Keri Russell but not for him. So he turns into an even bigger jerk and sabotages the Elliot/Keri Russell friendship. We're supposed to like him and all, but sometimes he's a complete dick. It did, however, lead to a pretty amusing appletini scene. But after he gives a hollow apology for his dickishness, Elliot forgives him. And in the closer, Keith proposes to Elliot. Is she going to be Mrs. Dudemeister?

Best parts:

• "It's my screensaver!"
• Turk's Booty Breakdown
• The Janitor's cleanliness ghost

Smallville: The rich have it good. Even Lex's abductors are beautiful women. She blows up a series of tunnels leaving Lex trapped and Lionel in the hospital. Naturally, the tunnels are filled with kryptonite, cause the episode would be over pretty quickly otherwise. As usual, Lex makes it look like he's finally 100% evil, but then turns around at the last second to partially redeem himself. I hope before this show ends, which I hope is soon because I can't stop watching but I really don't like it much anymore, they finally just let Lex become evil. Elsewhere, Lana's getting used to being a Luthor, acting all deceitful and devious. My recording got all messed up in the last 10 minutes, so I might've missed some stuff, but it sounded like the same old conclusion stuff, where they play spooky music and make it sound like big important stuff is going on but nothing really happens.

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Thursday Night TV

I'm still way behind on TV after an extended weekend. Still to watch: The past two Jerichos, The Sopranos, Entourage, House, Gilmore Girls, The Shield, tonight's Smallville, and I'm still not clear on whether this week's Bones was new. But I did catch My Name is Earl, 30 Rock, and Scrubs tonight. Spoilers past the jump.

My Name is Earl: Cool to see a call back to Burt Reynolds' episode, but even better... Norm MacDonald! I've been a fan for a long time. And once when I saw him at a casino, he said "how's it going?" to me. Also cool to see Charles Robinson, fresh off his appearance on The Riches. I never saw him in a casino, though.

So Norm plays "Little Chubby," son of the now deceased "Big Chubby." He was a huge jerk, so in an apparent cross promotion with kickedinthenuts.com, dons a jumpsuit and an orange wig and... well... kicks him in the nuts. But everyone laughing at him sends him on a spiritual quest, and he comes back a better person.

But it turns out the severe testicular injury meant he wasn't producing testosterone, and since he never saw a doctor for it, it was his mangled nads that made him nice. But thanks to a touching rendition of "Freebird," he sacrifices his balls to be a nice person again.


Best parts:

• Catalina
• "It's like having sex with a fat chick, except I can't get her pregnant."
• "Male intimacy: it's not just for gays anymore."
• "Never trust a man who wants to put his finger in your butt."
• "No wonder we make a fortune with this place, I bet everyone here has working testicles."
• "What would I sacrifice to be loved? Not my balls."

30 Rock: Liz sees herself in New York for the rest of her life, but Floyd wants to go back to Cleveland. So they go to Cleveland and it's like a paradise. It even gets it's own musical montage with a song that actually sounds like it's sung by Sudeikis and Fey. Floyd ends up taking the job, so it sounds like he's taking off. I was seriously impressed with how likable Jason Sudeikis has been in this show, and for the first time that I can remember, I'm sad to see a sitcom character's love interest go.


A secret society of famous black people lead by Bill Cosby is apparently out to get Tracy, so he disappears. And is still on the lam when the episode ends. Jack's wedding is still on, even though his fiancee Phoebe is seeming like even more of a crazy bitch lately.

• "By the hammer of Thor!" and "blergh" seem to be Liz's new catchphrases.
• "It's... made of gold."
• "It's going to be at least $30 million with all the claymation sex scenes."
• "I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play lacrosse. Lacrosse, Liz."
• "Who told Tracy about Anagrams? I'm gonna call Dr. Spaceman."

Scrubs: Another episode where the narration gets passed off to someone else, but this time it's to Ted, the Todd, and Jordan. Ted's trying to get Kelso to resolve a pay dispute with the nurses. The Todd is trying to keep Turk from jeopardizing his career by clashing with the head of plastic surgery. And Jordan messes with Elliot and Keith's relationship, but when she succeeds she actually feels guilty. In typical Scrubs fashion, everything gets resolved in the end with a heartwarming narration thing. Nothing was especially wrong with the episode, but it just wasn't all that funny.


Best parts:

• "Internal uh-oh five."
• Elliot's stripper pole.
• "What's with this guy and bees?"
• Ted's murderous rage at Kelso

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Thursday Night TV

It feels like about a year since the last new My Name is Earl. I liked Andy Barker, P.I., but I knew it was going to be cancelled, so I did my best not to get too attached. Since Earl will be sticking around, I'm happy to have it back. Spoilers for tonight's Earl, The Office, 30 Rock, and Scrubs past the jump.


My Name is Earl: Flipping on the television at 4am reminds Earl that he and Randy used to harass a local news reporter. To make it up to her, Earl agrees to appear in a heartwarming story, but Randy gets left out of the action. Earl makes him the center of the story, but the reporter ends up editing Randy to look retarded. It's not that big of a stretch, but she did it on purpose. In the end, it just makes Randy feel like he's finally noticed by karma, so now he and Earl are partners in completing the list.

Best parts:

• I love it every time Tim Stack pops up. Anybody remember Night Stand with Dick Dietrich? That show was hilarious.
• "Family asks that donations in the name of Mr. West be made to the family."
• "Also reported killed in the explosion were two drifters, a homeless man, and a bum."
• "And just like Van Halen, we were going to keep playing until everybody got sick of us."
• "When he's had a few drinks, he uses his junk as the spout, but never in front of the kids."

The Office: Michael takes the warehouse crew's scarier safety seminar as a threat to his masculinity or something. Andy, who is now Drew, is being shunned by Dwight. Everyone else has turned into compulsive gamblers. Apparently, Michael's plan to prove that he's tough is to jump off the roof, which almost wins Kevin $100,000. No love triangle stuff this week, just good old fashioned funny.


Best parts:

• Jim's translation of Dwight's thoughts was pretty good.
• Michael calling that lady "Pudge."
• Dwight leaning his head into the bailer ("Bailer? I don't even know her!")
• After Daryl's cool scary safety presentation, Toby's upstairs tips were great. "You always want to keep a sweater or cardigan of some sort in case it gets drafty."
• I love a good Van de Graaff Generator joke.
• "When you land, try and land like an eight year old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults."
• "If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am a very rich dude."

30 Rock: Rip Torn is back as Giess, Jack's boss. After the disastrous fireworks special last week, Giess takes the microwave division away from Jack, and hints that the way to get it back is to get married. This sends Jack into a spiral of depression.

Liz, on the other hand, is jazzed that her relationship with the unfortunately named Floyd is going well, playing Uno by candlelight and crapping all over the same movies. But the bliss is short lived, because Jack latches on to "the Floydster" as a cure for the blues, seriously cramping Liz's style. Eventually she convinces Jack to find someone for himself, and he ends up hooking up with Phoebe, who has "avian bone disorder," leaving her bones hollow and brittle. Which I guess is kinda funny when gentle taps cause her to say "ouch," but I think that'll get old quickly. Sounds like she's sticking around though, as Jack looks to get back the microwave division by proposing to Phoebe in the last scene.


Tracy is still pitching his idea for a movie based on Thomas Jefferson's life, with him playing all the parts, Norbit-style, except it's not a comedy. Rip Torn, however, would like him to make a sequel to Fat Bitch, the movie where Tracy plays a dog. To sell them on it, he's going to use the TGS set and staff to make a trailer. And stays in character all day. After the trailer turns out crappy, he's decided to finance it himself, so it looks like this will be a lengthy story arc.

Best parts:

• Fun with the pause button: the movies playing when Liz and Floyd came out of the theater were: The President's Wife, Moonquest: Quest for the Moon, Speaking of Emily, and The Boy Made of Corn.
• "It's like my old man said, 'If you try, you win.' And he was a hell of a garbage man."
• "I took the money from the sale of those pieces, and a bought a sailboat, and I named it after my ex-wife, and I sank it."
• How cute was Liz in her pajamas?

Scrubs: After Laverne's funeral, everyone slips right back into routine, except for Carla, who can't understand how everyone can act like nothing's changed.

Elliot doesn't seem interested in anything with Keith except sex, and he's had enough of it. In the first of a few scenes this episode where one character bluntly tells another character exactly what their problem is, Carla, in a rather bitchy manner, tells her that she's letting Keith slip away because she's afraid of getting hurt like she did with J.D.

Dr. Cox is on a quest to take 20 minutes for himself, but keeps getting interrupted by people who need his help. In scene #2 of easy problem solving, Kelso tells Perry that being the "go to guy" is time for himself, because that brings him joy.

J.D. and Turk have to treat a deaf child, and only the Janitor knows how to sign. They figure out he can have his hearing restored with a cochlear implant. After a recent Law & Order: CI covered the same thing, I knew the father wouldn't go for it. In problem solver #3, the Janitor tells J.D. and Turk that being deaf might be the thing the father and son have most in common, so they're better able to understand what's going on.


And apparently everyone solving each other's problems was the spirit of Laverne living on, which gives Carla warm fuzzies. A little too sweet for me. Still some funny scenes though:

• J.D.'s fantasy of his funeral.
• Dr. Cox's imaginary sound-proof bubble.
• After Keith shot down the KFed/Britney roleplaying, was Elliot suggesting Claus von Bulow and Alan Dershowitz roles?
• "Well that sucks caboodle."
• "I'll give you a hint, it starts with an 'M' and ends with an 'R'." "Marg
• Helgenberger!"

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Thursday Night TV

Sick as a dog, so I'm crashing before Sarah Silverman. Highlight for spoilers:

• My Name is Earl: Tivo cut off the beginning, so I missed the reason for the flashback to Earl Jr.'s birth. Quality moments though:
  
  
  • "For a second there we were gonna all get to dress up like clowns!"
  • "Merlin. We meet again."
  • "That, or she's banging an Asian doctor, trying to get one of everything."
  
  And c'mon, what's funnier than Beau Bridges chucking gerbils out a window? Other than possibly hanging a "Kids, do not touch!" note on an outlet. Excellent episode.


• The Office: Pam is hilariously unconvincing as her new assertive self. Best parts:
  
  
  • Michael the Magic
  • "It's been sitting in my car all day with the sun beating down on the mayonnaise."
  • "Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my god."
  • Creed's fake ID company.
  • Dwight inspecting the house.
  • Toby instantly going for the duck, winning it, and getting no points with Pam for it. This show loves screwing him over.
  • Jim's look of terror when Karen is playing with that guy's tie.
  • "Hey Jan." "Not too good."
  • Dwight popping out of the back seat at the end
  
  Now... what the F was up with Roy's reaction to the news that Pam kissed Jim? Sitcoms and murderous rage don't mix. Like the Joss episode, everyone's going to blame JJ Abrams for all the successes and failures of this episode, but I still think it's 99% everyone else. Anyway, I liked the episode, but I'm completely freaked out about the direction Roy's heading. I don't really see how that can be good for a show like this.


• Scrubs: Continuing with the best parts theme:
  
  
  • I'd love to put my ear on her butt to see if I could hear the ocean.
  • Oh, how I love the Sarah Chalke semi-nudity.
  • I'm a genius, I totally knew the lupus question that Turk didn't know.
  • Mutton chops.
  
  I liked the fake relationship with Ann, the most pathetic attempt at asking someone out in the history of everything, and the "fainting when he poos" jokes are still excellent.


• 30 Rock: More best moments:
  
  
  • "I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap."
  • Cerie's (sweet sassy molassey, she's hot) iPod sunglasses.
  • "I love this cornbread so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant."
  • "I hate the troops!"
  • "Does my vulva look swollen?"
  • "You're marrying my mom, aren't you?"
  • "Lemon, what happened in your childhood to make you believe that people are good?"
  • "...and that lady you European kissed last night was actually a gentleman."
  • "Television on! Pornography!"
  • The non-spinning pinwheels.
  
  
  The agent guy was kinda funny, but the cutting words short bit got old fairly quickly. Chris Matthews looked like he was about to bust out laughing all the way through his cameo, while Tucker Carlson was showing off his range by playing a dick.
  

On the Tivo: Sarah Silverman Program.

I get Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen, and John Travolta embarrassing themselves in Wild Hogs, but why would William H. Macy do it too?

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TV Catchup

Most of these weren't in top form, but still entertaining. Highlight for spoilers:

• The Office: A lot was made about Joss Whedon directing, but TV directors don't really do that much. Maybe the bat/vampire bit was in honor of his directing, but I think mostly the director's job on a series is to keep the feel of the series intact... and make sure everything gets done on time.
  
  The episode was pretty average for the show. Michael was back to normal levels of embarassingness after two straight episodes of extra nuttiness. His Mr. Handell story was fantastic. "Really ruined 8th grade for us...." The vampire jokes were ok, but they were carried entirely by Dwight's paranoia. And Creed is never not funny. And while I normally don't like the parts that aren't just straight comedy all that much, having Michael come through as the hero in the end for Pam was a nice touch.

• My Name is Earl: If that's all Earl ever did to the one legged girl, she's some kind of nut. Obviously that's uncool, but that's the kind of thing you get over eventually. Weird episode, though. Just a big pile of things Earl's done wrong. And the key party thing was obviously bad, but they set it up like it was the worst thing he'd ever done, and it wasn't super evil.

• The Sarah Silverman Program: Alright, this was not as good as the other ones. The part with the questions to assess her risk was pretty good, but as soon as she went on her crazy mission they mostly lost me. Though for some reason Laura not getting upset at the blown $17k cracked me up.

• Smallville: Bowling shoe spray guy couldn't have been more obvious about hitting on Lana without getting slapped or arrested, yet she was completely oblivious. Chloe having meteor powers is kind of an interesting idea. She has inexplicable hacking powers, should've died like eleven thousand different times, and has broken dozens of the craziest (but still true) news stories in the world. Meh, and Lex is evil. I hate this show and I can't stop watching.

On the Tivo: A billion TCM movies, that's about it.

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TV Catchup

Oh man, Thursday night has a lot of shows... (highlight to reveal spoilers):

• Smallville: So... this show is still kinda lame. The plot centered around creepy pictures sent by a stalker to Lana's Sprint(tm) cell phone. Now the product placement was annoying, but the Lana-centric-ness was nice. I basically only still watch the show because she's unbelievably hot. Seems like Clark and Lana are sort of making up, Lex made a half-assed attempt at mending some fences... or like 10-percent-assed. But still plenty of tension all over the place. And in a plot element that nobody really cared about, I think, Chloe and Jimmy got back together. Hooray?

• The Office: Oh, where to begin? I love Scrantonicity, and like Pam, I thought they only played Police songs, but discovered that they didn't earlier. Fields of Gold was a Sting solo effort. You can tell by the fact that it's completely girly.
  
  Toby having a smoking hot date was a great touch. All they've ever done on the show is make him a nice, friendly, caring guy who constantly gets crapped on. And Ryan knocking the bouquet out of the way was a fantastic touch.
  
  I liked Dwight's fascination with catching wedding crashers... and I hope his Pavlovian altoid reflex comes back in a later episode. Angela's Jackie O getup was pretty amusing. Most of Michael's stuff was kind of annoying though, sometimes when you go for that cringe factor it crosses over the line a touch.
  
  And with the love... rhombus or something... I know a lot of the fans obsess over this stuff and create portmanteau names for all the couple combinations but it's my least favorite part of the show. But the dancing outside shot of Pam and Roy (Ram or Poy?) with the cut to Dwight and Angela (the commercials went with Dwangela, but I'd rather see something like Anght (pronounced anked), cause it sounds cool). then the cut to Michael being all sad, that was good stuff.
  
  And as a Celtics fan, the senile Uncle's "the Celtics were a great team" comment was painful during the franchise record losing streak. Robert Parish, you are indeed missed.

• My Name is Earl: Byron from Andy Richter Controls the Universe (Jonathan Slavin)! D.J. Qualls! They're like the funniest weasely guys on earth! And whoever played Liberty is quite a lovely young lady. Quick hit thoughts since I don't have much to say about the plot:


1. - I think feeding Listerine to a turtle might kill it. Do not try this at home.


2. - What was up with that jar of sangria? That thing looked disgusting.


3. - "Since nowadays wrestling is planned in advance...." Great line.


4. - Black Ladies of Wrestling = BLoW. Excellent.


5. - I'm liking the way they handled the Randy/Catalina storyline. They keep the same jokes but they all seem fresh now.

• Scrubs: Occasionally on Scrubs, the comedy gets a little derailed with plot. This episode wasn't too packed with jokes, but it was actually an interesting story. JD's girlfriend tells him she had a miscarriage, they agree that they're better off broken up, but in the end we find out that she still has the baby. Them dames is devious! And Dr. Cox's baby required prenatal surgery, which provided a nice feelgood balance to the miscarriage/deceit storyline.

• 30 Rock: I continue to love this show. Kenneth the page would be the best new character of the year, except that Alec Baldwin steals absolutely every scene he's in. And Cerie? Sadly, in winter, she's wearing more, but still, she is quite the looker. Liz's thing with Jason Sudeikis was kinda sweet, and he suddenly struck me as a guy who could totally be a leading guy in a romantic comedy type thing. I'm assuming he'll be back for a story arc.
  
  These guys don't know how to play "Boff"/Marry/Kill, though. It's supposed to be difficult choices. Like three women you hate and would never want to see naked. Or three gorgeous women who seem really nice and you wouldn't think about killing. If you give them Liz, Jenna, and Cerie, you've got one who's easily the hottest, one who's easily the coolest, and one who's irritating as hell.

• The Sarah Silverman Program: Zach Galifianakis! Brian Posehn showing off ninja moves! If they can work Patton Oswalt and Maria Bamford in somehow, it will be this Comedians of Comedy fan's dream. The line of the show: "I better go. Homeless don't crap themselves." Also, the Cousin Sal cameo was totally weird. But I definitely dig this show. It's uneven, and the musical elements don't work for me, but it's two for two in coming up with pretty frequent big laughs. Not nearly enough shows can come up with one per episode.

Parked on the Tivo: Some TCM stuff, but nothing first run.

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